Today following a religion has mostly a hereditary form which is a factor such as country of birth, family or cultural background of the individual. Undoubtedly, in this case, the principles of that religion gradually forgotten, and thus can play an important role in people's personal and social life. Sometimes religion becomes just a part of the life that is only spoken not act based on it. At the same time we will also see that religious values change to be anti-value and vice versa , so that Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said:
But today we live in an era in which most people think deception is cunning and ignorant people know them as who are thoughtful.
In this case, people with internal motivation and a lot of courage and passion practice religious teachings without requiring any external motivation. Many know that the mere acceptance and subjective language is not enough for being religious, but religion should be adopted in daily life and make sure that it manages our whole life. Of course, all people could not follow the ideal way of life that religion provides us for several reasons. So sometimes there is a gap between the lives of these followers and utopian followers that should be removed so that the real health of the individual and the community will be met.
Since the requirements for a healthy social life are mental preparation and confidence to communicate , social skills and the ability to adapt to a society , therefore a healthy social life is organized in these three main sections:
1. Social Insight: gaining knowledge and awareness which is reality-centered and not self-centered;
2. Social Adjustment: Positive and constructive reactions to the others and in interpersonal interactions;
3. Social skills: learning the correct and positive ways of communicating with other people.
Social Insights, Social adjustment, preventing social harm, providing social health, Social skills.
1. Social Insights
Today, in social psychology, the issue of "social insight" have been discussed in relations. The "social insight" is place oneself in the place of others and see things from their perspective. There should be Good compatibility between people so it will be possible to understand others' behaviors, thoughts and emotions.
By One glance, we can find that this grand insight and the issue of "social vision" in psychology, has been considered in the religion texts of Islam. In Islamic religious teachings, there are four basic principles for creating real insight and positive attitude in facing people:
1. The purpose of the whole of human life (despite the differences between them);
2. The value of every person’s life;
3. The need for individual differences;
4. The ability and willingness of each person to do those things which are proportionate.
People should try to adopt these principles and be more patient and understanding of the reality of human life and apply these in their relationships with others. They should look at their own role on the basis of the data and their ability, and not from their own point of view.
On the other hand , Islam has attempted to neither create a space of individual's sensual desires nor a place for individual's passions in social relations because otherwise people are forced to work inadmissible and the person's social wellbeing and its growth and development is also threaten. That is why Islam suggested "social vision" which is if you want to have something for yourself, want it for the others too and if you avoid the others to have something, avoid yourself too. The general principle is extensible in all the relations of life. If you have any idea about the others, they will have the same idea about you as well and you will be treated the same way you are treated by others.
General Law of action and reaction or reflexive action is approved by Islam. In society, we find that if we lie, we will hear lies and if we blame others, and they blame us too, if we are unjust to them, the people would be the same. If we differentiate ourselves from them, they do the same. Hence it is also clear that we should treat others as we like them to treat us. By this without doubt public health will be realized.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said to his son, Imam Hasan (peace be upon him):
my son! Place you yourself as a Judge between you and others. So what you love for yourself, love for others and what you do not want for yourself, do not want for others.
Not wrong others, as you do not like to be wronged [and] do good things, as you like to treat you good. What is bad to others, it is bad to you too, keep yourself away from them.
If people do something that satisfies you, it is deserved that you satisfy them too.
In other words, the he said:
Socialize with people the way you like them to do with you and you associate them with safety and intimacy so they communicate with you in safety and intimacy.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his progeny) says in one narration:
a person will not be a believer unless he wants anything for himself, wants it for his Muslim brothers too.
The Most reasonable ones are those who like some things for others and for them themselves too, and do not like those things which are not acceptable, both for them and for others.
2. Social Adjustment
Communication with the public is one of the most complex parts of people's lives. Since people spend most of their life with others, how this relationship is developed will be very important in their lives. If the relationship is based on sincerely and respect with the people, this part of life will be pleasant and desired. Imam Ali (peace is upon him) said: "behave people with tolerance and compatibility which benefit you."
If the person can be in a productive relationship with others, he could possibly grow and develop in all fields and in addition he is mentally relaxed. But if the person cannot have a reasonably and positive relationship with others, his life will be chaotic. Psychologically, the most important signs of mental health is social adjustment and incompatibility with others is the sign of being proud and selfishness and undoubtedly its result is being alone and isolated.
In religious texts, it is emphasized to deal with people friendly. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said:
The best of you are those who have better interaction and are compatible with people, these people by being compatible could have rely each other.
Know that whoever is deprived of having good relation with other people, is deprived of all good things.
And also know that wisdom, tolerance and harmony with people are the best after faith in God.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) also said:
Signs of being reason-centered is being compatible and tolerant with people.
The Health of a person's world and religion is in tolerance and compatibility with people.
Being Tolerant and compatible with people is of the best virtues.
It is natural that being compatible people and social adjustment sweet the life, and the being enemy with them reduces their intimacy. Of course you can serve social adjustment and also enjoining good and forbidding wrong and not accompany them in bad cases, that is in cases where Islam has made it clear the duty of Muslims, people should follow the Islamic rules and they should not accompany with others, they should refuse to adore. In the narrative, the case of being tolerant and compatible is presented with no difference between Muslims and non-Muslims. Imam Baqir (peace be upon him) said:
it is written in the Torah that God said to Moses (addressed by the chanting of the Lord): O Moses! Hide your secret and be compatible with my enemy and your enemy.
In recent decades, sociologists and psychologists have concluded that a variety of social delinquency and crime stem from psychological disorders and also some mental health problems result from biological disorders. In addition, there is no doubt that an unhealthy social environment provides conditions for all the people. But some people meet their material and spiritual needs at different levels.
Of course it is natural that society cannot satisfy everyone's needs and could not provide facilities for all of them, but the sense of social insecurity which predispose chronic Mental illness should be avoided.
One of the most important factors to prevent these chronic diseases, mental problems is having personal relationships with people and also having the ability to adapt with them. In this case, people can create the typical sense of peace and happiness. This ability depends on people in not showing the hate and hostility towards others, in contrast he should have the capability of showing love to them.
The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) says in one narration that:
do you know the worst people? People said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him & HP)! The Prophet said: those who hate people and people hate him too.
Do not have hostility among yourselves. Do not be enemy with each other. Be each other's friend and brother.
Admittedly the human civilization becomes more complex, and so the importance of social harmony gets much more. Since life and simple human relationships excluded from the elementary level, the dependence on technologies and human instruments increase. In this case, the level of human desires and aspirations are increased too and failure to fulfill them results a sense of dissatisfaction in the person. In many cases, the person who has not satisfied with his the demands, considers the people guilty and hate them. To balance these feelings in individuals and prevent the devastating effects of hatred, love them to restore their mental balance.
Any effort to prevent people from the social hatred and make them love each others could strengthen the mood of social adaptation in people because people need affection and love compatibility. Everyone naturally wants to be loved and love others as himself. Anyone who thinks the society and people do not like or accept him, feels himself in the tumultuous world, or the mood of hatred grows in his heart which cause him to be always depressed. Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
Hearts are created in a way that love goodness of love (love who love them) and hate hostility of hatred (hate who hate them).
This is natural that any person must learn the characteristics of love and hate and control them when he is a child and he is in the family environment -from his parents- and he should practice the social models to easily react to them. So the first step in social adjustment is the way the person treats others with kindness or hatred and also he should refrain from creating a sense of vengeance. Therefore, the religion avoid hatred towards people and encourage friendship and comprehensive towards them.
But Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: loving the others is an army troop and hating is ignorance this army troop. Also The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his progeny) has said: "friendship and loving people is half of the religion.”
Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: God is the only one who sets the criterion of loving and hating others.
3. Social skills
Social skills is a process that enables a person to behave in such a way that others consider him competent. Therefore, they are skills and abilities that are required as means of being successful (for targeted behaviors) in relationships with others.
they are not only skills for being socialized but also they are certain learned behaviors that people gain in relationships and get approval by the social environment in which they live. In fact, these are a set of skills and capabilities that are adaptive and positive behaviors and they are productive too. These capabilities enable a person to accept his social responsibility and without harming the others, effectively face the expectations and the daily problems in social relationships.
In psychology, they have positive impact in reducing violent, and they boost confidence and increase capacity of utilization and the individual's actions are approved by others. On the other hand, social skills enable the person to apply his knowledge, attitudes and values of his mental and physical abilities and transform them in real society and he learns what he should do in the community. Thus social skills are a set of behaviors. They are linked to both individual and the community. It is generally linked to social life.
Obviously, those who have learned these s1kills more the others enjoy considerable popularity. That is why today in interpersonal communication, social skills are one of the essential things.
Features of social skills:
Some of the social skills include these:
1. These skills should include a set of behaviors or activities that are applied in relations between individuals and interpersonal relations.
2. These are taught in a typical home environment and society and the individual must learn them. In this regard, we can maintain good and friendly relations with responsibility for family members. Acquiring these skills is the starting point which has a great impact in families and society.
3. It is required to training and experience So that one could achieve the establishment of authority for maintaining friendly relations with others easily and in his social life with the appropriate and effective response from other people face and thus have a significant impact on his personal and social health.
4. The behavior and speech should adjust to social rules and laws and in consistent with norms of society and the individual's social status. In other words, social skills are influenced by environmental factors such as age, gender and social status of the person.
5. These are effective only when the skills of culture, tradition and values of the community are appropriate.
Islam has pointed out to learning social skills and forgiveness is an example (the skill of forgiveness and forgiving others):
In social life, all people do not consider the rights of each other and sometimes some people consciously or unconsciously violate the rights of others. The rule of law and the legal penalties are considered for the aggressors of the rights of others and those who hurt people. By these, we can pursue our own right, and at the same time we should urge all moral systems to have forgiveness as a virtue in Islam, although a few may disagree with it.
When people are oppressed, no doubt they get angry, but it must be recognized that should not seek revenge. Those who are mentally healthy might forgive the errors to get it back from others.
There may be some people who think that a person who forgives has accepted humiliation, but if it is timely and at the right time, it is not cowardice, because forgiving the person is from a position of strength and it is combined with heartfelt and internal satisfaction.
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
you must forgive, because forgiveness do not lower your personality but make you honorable. So forgive [the errors] of each other and God will forgive you too in return.
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said:
the most Deserved ones are those who forgive people when they are able to punish them. The characteristic of the good morality of powerful people is forgiveness.
But now we might ask whether to ignore the violation of those who are aggressor and is this harmful for our society? Islam has two answers for this:
2. it is not allowed that revenge enforces criminal penalties and strengthening of human affection causes crime in the society. Errors should be ignored, but they should not become behaviors that remove love and friendship of others in the community. Holy Quran says to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him and his progeny):
[O Muhammad (peace be upon him and his progeny)! Always react to bad with the best practice, Then the person among whom and you is hostility is taken away and you are united.
Islam also understand that in some cases, forgiveness may cause oppression, and therefore it opposes this. Thus, Islam never says a general rule and never exceed the limits set pardoned. It never says you had to punish them all in the same way, but in some cases. According to some compromises, the punishment is commanded and in some cases, it says forgive them:
And people should seek help and justice when they are wronged, [against the oppressor] and react bad to the bad. So the reward of everyone's forgiveness and charity rests with God [and] God does not love the unjust. Of course everyone seeks help after seeing the oppression [and seek punishment, no blame on them]. The blame is only on those who oppress men and revolt in the earth unjustly and go toward aggressiveness and hostility. They will have a heavy punishment. Of course everyone loves patience, forgiveness and pardon, certainly this is a huge effort [restraint of punishment] and not everyone is capable of doing it.
So wherever the abuser really regrets, and there is no possibility of repeating it, Forgiveness makes him be aware and quit raping. But if the psychological and educational conditions of offender are in such a way that if the fault is forgiven and his aggression be ignored, he is more daring and continue to do them, thus in this case, just with penalty we could prevent his aggression.