Undoubtedly, one factors of compatibility among couples is, healthy and desirable sexual relationship. This relationship either can be effective in preventing stress and creating a mutual desire or reducing the likely tensions, and finally it can be influential because of its treatment. In many cases, preventing the differences between couples and feeling the distance can be attributed to their sex and by a strengthen guess investigate the roots of the problem here, There is reciprocal relationship between sexual relationship and moral one but, among many of the clients, mostly unfavorable sexual relationship has been proposed as morally and unhealthy issue. From religion view points, healthy sexual relation has been considerably important which here, we will discuss,
The importance of the healthy sexual relationship:
Among social liberties, paving the way for a healthy relationship between man and woman has been considered very important issue. Undoubtedly, If authorities recognize the importance of sexual instinct and being aware of its correct satisfaction as well as its positive effects, they will think of particular measures in order to beneficially use this instinct ,it is because sexual instinct is not comparable to other instincts so, Holy Quran which talks about human nature , says : having sexual relation with your wives on the nights of Ramadan, is legal , they are your dress and you are theirs, God knew ( if doesn’t allow to sex on the nights of fast month) you will betray each other then, accepted your repentance and forgave you , now, sex with them and pray for what God has destined to you. Again in the same verse, great God, about those women who have been separated their husbands and their divorce period has ended, commands: and when you divorced them and they spent their period (a period of time in which women must stay single up to their latter marriage) do not stop them marrying their pervious husband, of course, in order that a balance is made between them and, this is a command which only those, among you who believe in God is accepting the advice. So, this is more effective in your development as well as removing your impurities, and God knows but, you don’t. In ancient time, people, based on the dogmatism they had, were not ready to marry divorced women. Holy Quran opposed this ignorantly dogmatic traditions, removed it and warned that any one is not to prevent them from remarrying and this is their right to have healthy sexual relation ; on the other hand, not only is their right but also, is a preliminary for purity and if it is not being truly obeyed, will impure the community. Finally, at the end of this verse God advises: you don’t know and you wrongly think that remarrying of such women is not important but, God is aware of the mysteries and outcomes of unmarried women. From another points of view, Great God first talks about women, among the lustiest and tempting objects of the world. Loving for materials such as women, offspring, huge amounts of properties, like gold and jewelry, advantageous horses, animals and farming lands have been adorned to human beings so, this is luxurious material life and the end of a good life (eternal life) is in the presence of God. Under this verse, Imam Sadeq( peace be upon) asks his companions that what is the best pleasure? They answer that there are many! Hazrat says: the best pleasure is sexual relation with women and there is no pleasure better than the pleasure of women. The men's disability in suppressing it is up to the extent that Holy prophet says that there isn’t any temptation for men more harmful than women. During the history, there have been many kings because fancied by pretty girls offered their lands to enemy and downgraded their identity. Also there is good expression which says that there isn’t huge criminal, unless a trace of a woman is found in fact, this comments and verses are an account of men's sexual instinct outburst so, this first and natural origin is the result of healthy sexual relation and should not be prohibited unless it verses with more important goals . At the late years of Holy Prophet's life Haj and Omria of ta'matto was legalized and this kind of Haj was specified to those who are away from Mecca nevertheless, sometimes , there was months of interval between Haj of Omreh and Ta'matto and if there were supposed no sexual relation being allowed between this two Haj ,most people couldn’t help bearing it therefore, in that year when Holy prophet legalized Haj of Tamatto, to this reason, commanded to the companions to leave Ihram ,and then, they no longer had any restriction for sexual intercourse. One of Holy Prophet's companions, because of this command of Prophet, complained him, using an unfavorable expression and said if we leave Ihram and being allowed to have sexual relation then, we should resume the activity of Haj when our heads are wet because of showering, how such command is given by God? When the messenger of God heard this objection answered that I'm the most sincere among you this is the message of God and we must not sympathize God's religion more than Him undoubtedly, the benign God who created human knows his interest better than us. Islam's point of view for marriage is a sanctimonious outlook and says:
Your wives are farming lands for you so; you can grow whenever you want and you can have sexual intercourse with them so, in this Holy verse, the Great God has analogized women to a farm and wanted them to harvest for eternal world. From considerable recommends of Islam, is advising for excessive sexual relation. While, people generally look at sexual affairs, collecting money, glutting and oversleeping from one category but, Islam has severely recommended to sexual relationship and warned people about others in fact, satisfying sexual desire is a prerequisite for calmness and its saturation is a resource for outburst. In Islam, the longest time in which sexual intercourse is forbidden when any of the couples are cloistered to worship and during this worship which is not more than 3 days is better to be done. Even those who, for them the obligation of Haj is required; their activities are not lasting more than 3 days. May be most of men do not believe it, sexual relation more than usual-not excessively as far as it overshadow all life – has been recommended by God . We read in a Hadith of Imam Sageq ," it is not true for a woman to spend a night without sex. Imam Reza says: 3 behaviors are belonging to those of Prophet's tradition; perfuming, nail cutting and doing sexual intercourse excessively. Greatest Prophet told one of his companions that are you fast on Friday? He answered no Prophet! Holy Prophet told him "get up, go and have sex with your wife because its reward is as important as paying to charity. One day, Holy Prophet entered in to the room of Omaha Salame and smelled a scent smell and told her "as if Zeinab , perfume seller ,has been here? Omaha Salame replied; yes, and she is still here. Zeinab urgently came and saluted and said oh messenger of God, my wife do not care about me ,then Hazrat said try to make up more for him , Zeinab said oh Prophet, there is no a scent odor unless , I have scented me for him nevertheless , he doesn’t love me Holy Prophet said : if he knew that when he comes to you ,how much reward is being given to him, he would never returned his back to you , Zeinab replied what kinds of rewards is given to him by coming to me? Holy Prophet said when he comes to you in fact, two angles embracing him and he is in the home of one who is martyred in the way of God. Then, when he sex with his wife all of his sins are removed and then, when washes himself, no longer any sin is left in the letter of his deeds. In short, according to Holy Quran and religious teachings we can not satisfy sexual instinct by suppress and advice but, we must accept it and by a true method satisfy it.
The most important factor for security of sexual harms is keeping unfavorable looks so; in this section we list some points in this regard
Restricting the eyes:
One of the compatible factors is that the man does not allow himself to look wherever he wants henceforth; he must specify a scope for his eyes. In verses and narrations, this issue is mentioned under different labels such as ghoz which means closing of eyes, breaking and downing them so, Holy Quran tells to his true believers of men and women; "tell the believers to keep their eyes from the strangers and tell female believers to keep their eyes from impure looks. This restriction is accompanied with purity and the eyes do not commit any betray, Great God is aware of those eyes which their looks are greedy and are wrongly supplied.
The importance of keeping eyes' scope:
Looking at different objects , in many cases , are out of attention and notice but, repeating and keeping on it , creates many corruptions , so far as, Holy Prophet says oh people , looking derives from devil so, everyone who found a case in his heart , he must refers to his wife . If human overlook this issue, the devil is so powerful and the least preys can survive the devil. to this reason, Imam Sadeq (peace be upon) says : the first look is to your benefit , the second look is to your harm and the third one is your destruction so, in respect to huge danger of impure look ,restricting it , is also paramount so, this is so important that Imam Sadeq says ; one who looks at a women and then diverts his look to the sky to see himself , his look does not return to him unless, God offers him a paradise nymph as a wife . This looking is so impure that God in return for an earthy woman bestows a nymph which all earthy women are not as pretty as her; of course, this reward shows that keeping eyes for human is not so easy
The results of keeping the eyes
Keeping eyes have many consequences; such as
The man is after removing impurities wants to be imprisoned in order to keep safe; henceforth, whatever creates security for him is favored and vice versa, what is poisonous for him makes him worry and looking brings about insecurity, and restricting it, causes sustainment. Imam Sadeq advises: looking is the poisoned shot of devil, and every one who avoids it for God –not others- in fact God tastes him with the flavor of belief. In order to avoid of being poisoned, you must limit looking. In order to scape devil's target, Hazrat Sadeq says: looking creates lust in the heart and brings about insurrection for the owner including deviation from right path and catastrophe .
Not only man is after the security from his point of view , but also, wants to keep every one else who belongs to him , too it is because by his security he himself feel secure so, supplying this security is related to limiting the look . Abou Basir told Imam Sadeq a woman come across a man and then the man look at her back , is there a problem with it ? Imam said is any of you glad, when a stranger eyes at your wives? I said no! Haztat said accept those favorable for people which you found favorable for yourself. Someone who wants his family to be secure, others must feel secure from him. Imam Sadeq says; those who look at women on the back are not secure for their wives if one looks at them from the back. If you want to feel secure about your wife, sister, and mother you must do something so that you feel secure about them. There is in our narrations that " if man feels insecure when one looks at his wife, he, himself, must not look at others' wife so, the narration says " you should be consent with people , as far as you are for yourself . The answer is that the situation of that Hazrat's advice is for those who are far away from humanity and their nature has not too impure to be away from this issue therefore, it is to this reason that Hazrat has not discussed this degraded issue. For example, regarding rage Hazrat Ali says: anger and rage is a kind of madness because, the heated man after it, is regretful now, it is remembered that, some get nervous but, after that don’t regret so, is it a kind of madness? , as it is natural, Hazrat continues that if raged man, after his anxiety, did not feel regretful then, his madness will be serous and deep, and in this situation his anxiety is a kind of insanity . By discussing Hadith of Imam regarding his dialogue with Abou Basir eyeing behind women, however; it has been an acceptable advice for addressee, and Hazrat has been interacting such persons and if Abou Basir had answered Imam positively, never does Hazrat allowed eyeing at women on the back so, it is because the starting point of the dialogue is mutual agreement on judging about the level of action's opprobrium. So, it is here that Imam says now that you consider this job so unacceptable, you, yourself avoid it, and thus, the result that is essential in understanding narration is specifying the beginning point of the dialogue.
The outcomes of a healthy sexual relationship:
Considering the importance of healthy sexual intercourse, we will discuss them here
The superiority of character
To be a star, a pattern and to be in a high position is everyone's dream and this is the nature of human's intrinsic willingness. What maybe different among all people is that they often face problems in specifying patterns so; the narrations of Imams are very influential here. The story of choosing pattern is like this through which any man does not want to be downgraded and by nature, doesn’t want to be as villains but, sometimes have problem in recognizing this misery while sensitive situations, by helping narrations, can determine the true measure of misery with honor. In a Hadith, Holy Prophet says: the best among your wives are those, when with his wife, makes up and when the husband is alone with her gives him whatever he wants. When alone with her husband, the women are not expected to have shame henceforth, Imam Sadeq recommends: the best of your wives are those women who, when are in sanctum with their husbands, give up the cover of shame from their body, vice versa, the Holy Prophet says, the worst of women are those who disagree their husbands in this affair. The appeal for sexual intercourse is began by men and women due to different intentions – such as their more shame – sometimes, they do not react positively to the demand and show this avoidance as their superiority . Narrations consider these motivations incorrect and know them as a factor for superiority and recommends women to become familiar with the real samples of superiority. In a Hadith, Holy prophet says the best of your wives are women of Qoraish tribe, who are Majoon ! Prophet's companion asked him. Who is Majoun? Prophet replied, a woman who does not disagree with her husband's propose to sex thus, making convenience in healthy sexual intercourse is a factor for person's superiority
Immunity and health
Sexual need naturally exists in all people – especially in men- it appears so early that they are known as signs of sexual need. Narrations has also discussed this issue, that often men's sexual need especially by watching pretty women appearance outbursts so, in this narrations there isn’t any censure for men however; suppress and forgetting sexual need is not the solution but, it needs a true way and it must be well satisfied. Even infallible Imams (peace be upon) have not been an exception, for their immunity and health, have been looking for a true way to satisfy their sexual need. Imam Sadeq narrates from Prophet : " one day Holy Prophet saw a woman who made him surprised, after that , soon, slept with Ommah Salame and satisfied his need then, came among people ,while the water of showering was dropping down his head , commanded them ; hey people! Looking belongs to the devil then; only watch your wives In order to survive devil's tricks, it is necessary to satisfy your sexual needs by true and healthy ways
Out of the main goals of a common life, is gaining calmness and using the most sexual pleasure. Often, a man and woman are expected provide calmness to each other. When a man receives the surge of sexual pleasure from his wife then, he finds more compatibility in himself. There is in narration that a woman came to the Prophet and wanted to know about man and woman's right then, Prophet called sexual need as the men's right and said women must dedicate themselves to their wives in the morning and the night and it is natural that a man who feels tranquility in the morning and the night, the less feels upset during the day. In satisfying sexual desire, each path which does not harm the woman and creates the best pleasure for her, has been allowed and is acceptable for her, Imam ordered a man who were looking at his wife while she was bare and told him not only it doesn’t mind but also, is pleasurable. Among Jews, it was common that man and woman must be put on each other and sex and they were not allowed to sex from the back position so, if such thing happens, the child who born, will be a cross-eyed therefore, in this regard, the great God sent this verse of Holy Quran: Women are your farm, so you can grow how you like, nevertheless; we must provide the way for human's appeal so that it paves the way for better compatibility
Pray, blessing and worship:
One way of the influential factors in creating intimacy, affection and compatibility among couples is relation with god and praying for compatibility. Sometimes that apparently couples are not in agreement and mutual satisfaction, praying and resorting to god has an effective role in resuming the agreement and love among them. Abou Basir, who was from close companions of Imam Sadeq , narrates that a person came to Imam and I heard he told Imam, " while I'm old, I have married a young girl and I have not slept with her yet so, I am afraid if go to bed with her, due to my age, she feels hatred about me. What can I do to avoid it? Hazrat replied; before going to bed, ask her to take ablution, and then you do, too, after that say pray, praise God and salute Holy prophet and his children and ask her to say Amin to your pray, and then thought him to repeat this pray " oh God give her to me and make me satisfied with her and give us the best mutual relations. Then, Hazrat said, truly, the mutual intimacy among couples is by God and hatred and trick among couples are by devil, because devil wants to disappoint people from what is lawful by God
Whispering the name of God before sex:
As Imam said from one side, hatred, dislike and incompatibility, in lawful relations ,are the result of devil's intervene and we must scape his tricks, on the other side, love, intimacy and compatibility is from God then, we must begin by the name of God in order to enjoy his blessings . Imam Sadeq said; the man who intends to sex and fears devil following him, he must start by the name of God and shelters Him from Satan. General, in each relation, reminding God is necessary and you must not forget saying "in the name of God" this procedure and behavior reduces all animalistic lust and gives man virtual pleasure which its synthesis with sexual pleasure is favorable. Also, this kind of remembering God, helps couples not to violate any right of each other and each one considers it as duty to satisfy the partner's sexual need so, saying God's name, helps man to increase compatibility , think about other domains, too
To enjoy more of sexual intercourse and composure, it is necessary for couples to have had penchant for sex otherwise, maybe, every one faces problem. Holy prophet had planed his program in a way that each of his wives knew when she has the owner to sleep with prophet. The wife's pre awareness of her husband sleeping date is a good prerequisite for satisfying mutual demand and this issue has been so considerable for infallible Imams that Imam Sadeq says: it is not logical for a man who have returned his travel to enter his partner's bed unless, he waits until morning because she may not well prepared .
Sanity and make up for couples
Doing physical sanity such as, regular bathing, cutting extra hairs, having hair cut, shaving, choosing soap and using disinfecting materials must be severely considered by both sides. Cutting the hairs of sexual organ- especially in men- increases sexual interest. Any of the couples should not think to bath after sexual intercourse but, they must do it before sex and clean themselves however; God's command for showering after sex is necessary
Providing the way for better satisfaction of couple's sexual demands is encouraging. On the other side, hasting and selfish continuing of any of them for early satisfaction have been censured. Holy Prophet says any of you who aim to sleep with your wife , should not be in hurry for that and he must prepare his partner first and start to sex exactly on its time so, this happen by playing with woman which is a sacred job in Islam . Imam Sadeq says: the angles rarely appear, unless, when a man preparing his partner for sex. This sanctity makes men to be forced, besides enjoying this action, either gain eternal reward or obey the etiquettes so that they don’t be a persecutor. Holy prophet recommends three are the sign of persecuting , one is when someone travel with another without asking his name , the second, when one is invited to a meal do not answer positively or if answered , doesn’t eat and the third; is one who before preparing by seducing sentences, begin to sex . Therefore; to have earthy and eternal benefit, paving the way for sexual satisfaction is an influential, necessity and useful issue
The pathology of sexual affairs
A preliminary section regarding sexual relationships were mentioned which must be considered before sexual intercourse to be a suitable bed for interested relationship. So, among these, sometime harms appear that by the time of sexual intercourse or after that is shown and put couple's compatibility in danger. Here, we discuss some samples which are more related to compatibility.
Sexual disorders among couples:
Some individual are inclined to be active in sexual affairs while, some, if no too much relation, they will pleasure more. Some women feel voluntarily the level of sexual pleasure, in their womb, in the period of leaving ovum; it means the time when male cells through Fallopian tubes transfer into women's ovum and this process lasts 4 or 5 days to makes a woman pregnant. Most of women before or after their period, rather than other times, feel oversexed. Some men are severely inclined to have sexual relation and all the time they are ready for sexual intercourse but, for the feeling of indolence they face after sex, they fall sleep soon after satisfaction. Sometimes, men are stimulates first, and before their partner's orgasm fail to continue so, it is because, for men, lust outburst is easier. Those who are not realist expect deep satisfaction but, we must say that couples, due to less experience, can not achieve their expectations in this regard. Unfortunately, couples who are young and inexperienced, it is likely that after a time fail to show their early tendencies to sex and conclude that something is wrong with them and this issue can outburst the conflict between them. To fight this danger, couples must severely consider their orgasm so that they can increase their lust. Each of the man and woman must closely investigate their problems and prevent from their reoccurrence, in order to prevent such disagreement.
One-sided outlook toward sexual relations:
After sexual intercourse , sexual desire severely drops in men while, seldom such process happens in women besides, they need more love making because, the women's obsession of being a sexual means for men upsets them all the time . Then, the man, by love making in advance, must favorably satisfies his partner's needs. In the first steps of marriage , love making after relation is better than love making before the relation because, love making after relation keeps mutual relations and shows that their love is not just for satisfying sexual instinct
Love making after relation, even improves the sense feminism and masculinity in them. Each man feels proudness which the woman praises him after the relation vice versa; each woman is inclined to know that she is qualified to satisfy his demands.
Love making after relation, removes the feeling of depression regarding an apparent bestial action and increases love and affection
If in sexual relation, one of the partners or both, has not been satisfied, approves this fact that they love each other, and do not allow that not becoming satisfied, removes their mutual affection.
Proposing love after relation, promises a good relation and no sentence can modify your passion and desire regarding sexual pleasure. Often, your tendency and outlook concerning relation, shows how much you enjoy sexual relation so, resorting to love making in every step, pave the way for later pleasures and desires. Teach the youths not merely marry for gaining sexual pleasure, because, as soon as they begin sexual relations, most of their reasoning and logical belongings will fail. The cells of the mind, after finding a chance to think and being active, practically perceives its inseparable distance with the sexual partner and depression thus, incompatibility starts. Healthy sexual relation is the base and fundamental for male and female in marriage nevertheless, watching these bases is a guarantee for other parts. This method, depicts the naked body of a person which surely the prettiest persons, whether male or female, are ugly so, the metal skeleton of a building is not attractive, too
The frequency of sexual relations
You can search the origin of sexual drop, either in psychic or biological issues. Naturally, aging in men causes them to satisfy later and demand more time to prepare for renewal of sexual treatment. On the other side, women, after period, by decreasing slimy state of their cunt, sexual relation for them remains undesirable. Other psychical factors, such as occupational pressures, not having enough time to sex, fear of sexual incapability, feeling of repetition in sexual relation, indolence and individual differences can pave the way for declining sexual appeal. In some couples, by passing time , no considerable change found in declining their sexual appeal while, some in their first years of marriage considerably decline their sexual power . Man and woman must find a solution, in the first step, to intensify their sexual appeal so that they can replace the preliminary decrease of sexual power by their new impress. And in the next step, they must have been aware of the changings, because of the unexpected, and the likely incompatible situations
Unhealthy mental depict
Healthy sexual relation requires a healthy mental picture in sexual cooperation. Men and women, during the day and in office, must challenge to, lesser, look at the appearance of others. The ideal is that the obvious picture of both man and woman has just been dedicated to themselves not a clear picture from strangers. Paying attention to the appearance and the body of others, is preceded with two situations of friendship and dislike so, friendship with others weaken the couple's relation and pave the way for incompatibility. To this reason, it is recommended for choosing wife; her beauty must be considered because seeing her causes love. You must find someone as your wife that her face, moods and her behaviors satisfy all your needs throughout the life. As women is better not to see anyone unless their husbands, men should give up saying nonsenses and purely have loving and sexy look at their partners. They, not only when choosing wife, but also, at the time of sexual relation, must start relations by healthy pictures away from any unhealthy background. In the narration of our Infallible Imams, sexual intercourse with a desire and appeal gained from a stranger woman is not allowed.
Lack of attraction:
For men and women to look attractive it is necessary to wear various clothes. Naturally, most of women and men complain about wearing styles of their partners. Changes in wearing, is not just an entertainment but in fat, changes mental picture of others so that, they see person as a tailored-suit character. Undoubtedly, styles, synthesis, color sets with variety of show, have a considerable effect in psychic satisfaction of your partner. Lighter clothes for teens, middle-colored ones for middle-aged and suitable and simple ones for elder can cause sexual appeal to be seen outstandingly. Something considerable is that for women, what they hear is very important in sexual relation however; it is not mean that the women's excellent delicacy is ignored.
Never, one can determine a time for sexual intercourse. Man is not like a machine to work based on a specific rules nevertheless, when the psycho-physiology of his body is okay he is ready to sex of course, habit ,as it is effective in other issues , plays its rule here, too but, we must investigate the story of habit in another way . At the end of the first year of their sexual life, the couples must have learned to do it based on their mutual desires. Whenever the environment was quiet and the sexual desire of both was high, they can begin their sexual intercourse. On the other hand, no one can be accounted as your sexual pattern so, every one whom you consider as your pattern might fail. When the most barriers are removed and the situations in terms of environment, nutrition, appeal and etc. had prepared then, you can start your sexual relation. The criteria for sexual success is not following its steps , but couple's getting to the time, and their harmonious activities for achieving orgasm must be considered as their criteria.
Not adopting sexual identity:
Each boy , girl , man and woman must have been accepted their sex before wedding ceremony and match themselves with their role so that they can either satisfy themselves or the others' needs, and feel satisfaction by the role they play . Those women, who act in a way to show that they have the features of their opposite sex, as if in the beginning of creation the masculine features, are only in the voice tone and audacity also, the women who have masculine features, lesser can be compatible in their own role. Having a positive outlook toward sexual male and female's behavior pave the way for other identity growth, otherwise, the distinction of experts regarding such person, will create disorder in sexual identity. A part from this issue is related to awareness of man and woman's sexual role in which the man must return to his origin and recognize his own essence which the most important part is the sexual identity. On the other side, wrong imaginations as a way of rejecting sexual identity must be abolished. For example, considering the role of subject and object in sexual relation of man and woman is an old view and can degrade the active role of women and negatively affect on adopting woman's sexual identity. There is no criterion for virtual subjectivity and objectivity of man and woman. If woman suppose that sexual identity is just for satisfying the need of husband , in fact, has ignored his value and confirmed this belief that as a woman in community , must only satisfy her husband's needs . if the woman in life, accepts a more active role and render it as her role to have life pleasures, so, she will learned to have a share in the life pertinence . Islam, by accepting this role in physical relations, has recommended woman to enter to the sexual area, such as offering their body and activities concerning sexual stimulation of men and, controlling sexual relation of man and satisfying him is given to the best woman. if the negative idea of women's objectivity removes , undoubtedly , sexual relation will find more health and will cause women to get ride of the ideas of being weak or inferior and equally try gaining pleasure or providing it to his husband . Fathers and mothers who from their first kid sees differences between himself and opposite sex, must confirm this difference by a true explanation. When a kid specifies that there are anatomic differences between boys and girls, it is a good chance for emphasis on these differences not shortening them; yes there are too many differences between boys and girls. The girls are created in one shape and the boys in another so, this message must be certain and clear to avoid of kid's obsession regarding her sexual identity. The culture of social public must clearly teach this differences between them so, in a situation which society exert more influence on teenagers and youths in proportion to family. On the time of maturity sexual differences come to the maximum so, as result, female teens are appeared as a woman and male teens as a man. On this time, the person gradually reflects others' understandings and improves the picture which as male or female. Generally sexual role is that aspect of psychic characteristic and behavioral patterns of each gender which is recognized socially suitable for male and female and contains the concept of gender which is specified for each ideal man and woman. So, whatever is known in public culture, can help adopting sexual identity of boy and girl. if, in the current of society the roles have been well defined and of woman expects only her feminine features and man his masculine ones then, their role is registered in their mental picture, and what is expected them , happens.
This expression is used when satisfaction before thrust or immediately after that happens and so far as, it disorders the sexual pleasure. Often, it is women who face sexual disorder by men's premature satisfaction and do not gain orgasm as result; they become exhausted, anxious and show negative reflections. Premature satisfaction can happen preliminarily - it means to happen due to anxiety and lack of self- reliance - and, it can be secondary – it means due to stress, economical worries or some drugs. Premature satisfaction, can depress both man and woman and cause incompatibility, henceforth, it is beneficial to mention technics in order to postponed premature satisfaction;
a) Press the lower pat of the penis head so that feeling pain replaces pleasure and orgasm regresses so, by repeating this by man or his sexual partner, orgasm retreats and a correlated sexual satisfaction is achieved .
b) if, during the week relations exceed to their maximum level , Premature satisfaction doesn't occur therefore, those couples who aim to sex once a week they should at least four or five times keep it in their plan of sexual pleasure so that the men's sensitivity reduces and they can have a more prolonged and enjoyable satisfaction . Wearing condom reduces touching and pressure at the time of connection so, to this reason, sexual satisfaction occurs lately
c) Do not extend cuddling and love makings before relation and it suffices till your partner is prepared
D) As soon as you approached to the time of satisfaction, loose the muscles between your legs and your ass while you are gently breathing. By these methods, we can prevent premature satisfaction which is against the appeals of couples
The first kind of sexual desire drop, which is called cold blooding in women, is the result of problems in sexual psychic growth. Another part of it which is called secondary, is a decrease that the most prevalent of which are every day problems in relation with people and most of couples are not aware whether their sexual treatments mirror the good and bad feeling of their unconscious or not. The apparent need of a man to a woman conceals the likely animosities. When such person continuously plays such role, he is not aware of the nervousness stored in his mind but, showing this kind of nervousness can cause decreasing of sexual desire, premature satisfaction and even sexual disability. Undoubtedly, we can not consider cold blooding as a simple phenomenon but, we should consider it as a complicated habit which is consisted of various kinds. To discover it, we should investigate its causes. The main cause of this disease is man's ignorance and his inexperienced behavior. He is often man who often doesn’t know how to prepare the woman to achieve orgasm and this lack of intelligibility, especially due to woman's sensitivity in achieving orgasm, is relating to orgasm and premature satisfaction. Most of men's knowledge regarding sexual relation is just thrusting however; every woman's satisfaction requires special situations. Sometimes, these needs require activities which is apparently nonsense and ludicrous but, as far as possible, there is no forbiddance for it in terms of religious and morality so, we should attempt for providing them and respecting their demands of course, paying attention to their demands does not mean to be cautious or complementing as they do when passing a room or hall as result, sexual intercourse must be so open and frank that they, without any shame, achieve sexual pleasure. Thinking to an excessive sexual pleasure is not only selfishness but also, is a kind of sacrifice. It is never accounted as selfishness where human under the shadow of others ,himself , achieve sexual pleasure, but also, it is like a mother who by the surge of her child's pleasure ,herself get to high sexual pleasure, too therefore, to distance this disease which can be so harmful for life , man must does the best.
Sexual pleasure during the period:
Despite of moral recommendations and explanation of religious teachings which have forbidden sexual relation in this period, mentally and sexually this action is dangerous. Woman in this period – especially in the beginning- suffers from tension, tearing womb, blooding, depression, suicide commitment and mental disorders. Women need more care during this period so, if men due to the pressure of sexual power, force them to sex, despite that he has committed a sin but also, he has made their life face a sever harm and incompatibility but, women are not responsible for this.
As result, it is reasonable that the couples for improving compatibility, avoid these harms ad follow this pathology.