According to the statistics, divorce in our country has grown substantially in recent years. Perhaps, this fact is not surprising to anyone in the Western countries where their relations are shaped by individualism and religion has only a formal place, however, the incidence of this problem in our Islamic country is very sobering because the teachings of religion are full of recommendations in order to maintain and further strengthen the institution of family.
Islam has a special effort to keep and maintain the family. In a statement, it can be said that family is the main highway to progress and perfection and this great status of family has caused various factors to combine to block this route. In this way, the enemy attempts to target the family and the sanctity of family by removing and destroying its sacredness and its functions and thereby block the progress of the society's functions because progress and the health of a community depend on the family health.
One of the West's strategies towards this goal is changing the lifestyle. This phenomenon, which is the foundation of modernity and is followed by a change of values, can be viewed as a major factor of divorce to be considered in the present age that causes the blurring of personal and social identity and spirituality and thus undermines and brings about the collapse of the sacred institution of family. For this reason, the identity of the Muslim men and women in the field of religion and community is a strategic point in the field of battle imposed by the West and, unfortunately, this identity has been targeted by all modern facilities, including satellite, Internet, books, etc. In this article, we briefly discuss Islam's view on the need to form and maintain a family and then discuss the reasons for the increase in divorce.
Family, the holiest unit in Islam
According to Islam, family is considered the holiest institution and the basis for peace, education and the development of generations. This is important because family is the main basis of society and a healthy society depends on a healthy family, as it is the first institution one enters and grows within. In our religious texts, there have been many recommendations to strengthen the foundations of the family and consider it sacred.
God says in the Holy Qur'an: "help your single men and women get married and also your righteous slaves and concubines, if they are poor and empty-handed, Allah will enrich them from His bounty. God is a problem-solver and well informed. “And in another verse says: "And among His signs is that He created for you spouses with whom they will find peace and he set kindness and friendship among you.
These two verses and many other verses emphasize the importance of marriage and family and know men and women to be comforting each other. This is the exact opposite of the view that has been established in the community. The vision which considers comfort to be during the period of celibacy and proposes that with marriage all the problems and difficulties and economic problems begin and also proposes it as a reason for running away from marriage while the society will certainly face consequences in this way. While God in verse 32 of Sura “Noor” has promised to His servants: If you are poor and empty-handed, and God will satiate your needs of his own grace…god never breaks his promise….
The prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) states: "no basis in Islam is more popular than marriage in the sight of God."
In another hadith he also states "Whoever marries has preserved half of his religion, then for the other half he must be virtuous and avoid evil for the God.
In this hadith and the other hadiths, the need for a family has been emphasized as a way to achieve perfection and spiritual development. Also, there have been plenty of verses and hadiths about the mutual rights of the couples and if they enlighten their way of life in this way, they will survive and will never come across acute and unresolved problems that might lead to separation in their lives. Nevertheless, unfortunately, the cause of all our problems is that we do not look to religion as a recipe for life. From the perspective of faith, love and spirituality can be considered as the two main bases for the family and by removing and loosening of one of the two, the countdown begins for the family breakdown. This is what is happening in the present era and can be seen clearly.
Changes in lifestyle and avoiding the teachings of Islam
Modernity brings lifestyle changes and this can be viewed as its gift at the present time. According to some, the emergence of new forms of life is an inevitable need which will come into sight by the move of societies towards progress and industrial development. However, the truth is that the foundation of lifestyle in traditional society is based on Islam and changing that means changing lifestyle and adapting it to modern and imported ways which are not consistent with our Islamic culture and, as a result, the change of the identity for the Muslims follow. In fact, identity and lifestyle have a reciprocal relationship with each other and mutually influence each other.
By comparing lifestyles in recent decades, one can get the speed of these changes. This issue has a very wide scale in today's society and in the way of life of the people on a personal, familial, and social scales and they are increasingly distanced from the Islamic norms. To review some examples of the lifestyle changes, we can enumerate items such as changes in the patterns of family life and earning life expenses in imitation of Western countries. Of course, the needs of today's society cannot be ignored when it comes to the presence of women in jobs but what is now happening in society is that even when it is not necessary and only with the argument that women must be financially independent and not dependent on man, women are inclined to employment outside the home and, namely, this issue itself will be the cause of a lot of problems for the individual and society and the issue deserves a separate article to be addressed in details. While Islam, according to welfare directed at women, family and community, has removed labor outside the home as a duty for the woman and has obligated men to do it, unfortunately, we see that employment outside homes has become a value for women and instead housework and parenting time have become a waste of time and is viewed as burning opportunities for our women.
Another important issue is the change in simple lifestyles which were dominant among the Iranian families until a few years ago and are now being turned into more extravagant lifestyles and a consumerism culture among families; unfortunately, we see that in this case also the enemy is trying to change the spirit of women as they form the core of the family and are very effective in shaping the attitude of spouses and children and it is also the main reason for taking up employment outside the home. However, this by itself causes great deviations in individual and social life and, unfortunately, divorce is one of the major damages. Change in the type of interaction between men and women is one of the things that has been influenced and has become westernized for the satellites channels! The return to the teachings of Islam and restoring peace to the family is the best way to solve these problems. Although sometimes our consultants will make recommendations to the parties that not only do not help to solve the problems but are also in complete contradiction with the teachings of our religion!
This is the truth; by the change in lifestyle which is certainly followed by changes in values, the family unit will be undermined from within and this can be named as the main cause of divorce as Western life, beliefs and culture of transformation and, as mentioned, the spirituality of the family in Islam is considered the main pillars upon which the family is built.
Unfortunately, in our society, we see this wrong pattern for families and young people has increased the conflict between man and woman, and has caused consumerism, changes in the type of clothing and so on. Among these issues, the most important subject is that we have to be careful that the new ways of life are consistent with our religious culture and our values and beliefs are not evolved.
The strategy of the West in changing the identity of Muslim women
By examining the causes of divorce, we are well aware that the main strategy of the West is to undermine the institution of family that we have and to change the identity of Muslim women is to indoctrinate feminism, weaken the role of men and the role of mother and wife, show less value for the household effects, and attach more value to jobs outside home, and consumerism and so on. They first begin to change the attitudes of Muslim women and this leads to the desacralizing and undermining of the family. They understand the central role and importance of women in the family and it is well understood that to achieve their goals, the first step must start from this point.
This distinction is not concealed to anyone that men and women differ due to differences of men and women and the different needs and abilities of their creation and Islam is considered to be the main supporter and defender of women's rights because Islam not only considers the rights of women but in all the commandments and instructions the elegance of the female spirit and body has been also regarded, something that has never been seen in the feminist theory and the so-called humanitarian Western theories. However, they call the deeds and verdicts of Islam unjust to women and seize the flag of human rights to begin chanting nice and charming but absurd and false mottos, and most of their attacks are against the problem of the distinction between the rights of men and women.
From the perspective of the champions of women's rights, taking responsibilities as wives and mothers have led to the violations of women's rights and, instead, they reject and marginalize the roles of religion and idolize men's employment outside home and encourage women to do similarly because they will supposedly have power and prosperity.
Regardless of the results of the feminist thought in the West, it should be noted that indulging in this issue has seriously challenged the West like a person who gets caught in a swamp and the more awkwardly he tries to save himself and the deeper he drowns into the quagmire and wants to take others with them.
In fact, the West is the first casualty of the feminist theories which are not based on reason and logic and which lead to nothing but contempt for women, lack of emotion, lack of security, challenging the concept of motherhood, the increase in violence in the family, the rising divorce rate, an increase in the number of illegitimate children, widespread single lives, the spread of homosexuality and, in one statement, the destruction of a woman and the destruction of humanity.
Reflecting on this, we realize that there is a clear contradiction between feminist slogans, the feminist theories of women's rights and what happens in practice because women are deprived of their basic rights, the peace and security which is achieved in the shadow of family and the guardianship of man and by ignoring the role of wife and mother the circumstances lead to divorce and family disintegration is fueled also leading to circumstances where the society is faced with a serious crisis. However, the teachings of the feminists forget that woman is a member of the body of the society and will be the first victim!
While Islam has accorded very high status to women from the beginning, and men and women complement each other and many recommendations have been given to men regarding the oppression of women which was prevalent, for instance, advising them to treat women in a way worthy of their behavior and love and, also, as for the question of voting rights women and men have equal rights and Islam has reserved for them the right to participate in social activities.
Removal of the negativity from the most pitiful right given by God
By the study of the verses and the Islamic traditions, we find that the same emphasis that has been laid in Islam on marriage and family is directed towards the maintenance of a married life because the seedlings of families need to be handled and cared for specially to survive. In these verses, divorce is mentioned as the God’s most pitied permission, also many verses emphasize the need to maintain family and, therefore, divorce is conceived as a last resort and it is recommended only if the person is to undergo hardships. Although man’s limited understanding causes him not to fully comprehend the corruptions of and the welfare of affairs but one can to some degree discern why divorce is pitied by studying its consequences. Personal and social problems of the parties after the divorce (especially women) as well as the unclear fate of the children, and the trauma they experience for the parental divorce and the issues and problems that society is facing this way and so on.
These are among the problems that are caused by the breakup of a family. Understanding these issues may partly help to understand the necessity that men and women forgive each other. Of course, given that the spirit of individualism is not dominant in them but the truth is that with the changing lifestyles and the changing values, the Divine spirit fades among families and this has caused the ethical concepts such as "forgiveness" in life to be interpreted as being cowardly or being reactionary!
Unfortunately, the shortening of the married life has become a problem in our society and soon if we do not find a choice to solve it then it will become a serious crisis and this problem calls for the awareness of the people, the officials and the elite sectors. The depth of the crisis is that in addition to the increase of this major problem, the society takes steps towards normalizing this issue. Celebrating divorce to imitate the West and inviting friends and acquaintances to participate in this event is unfortunate and surprising in our Islamic society.
When life has no longer the flavor of religion and the culture of Islam, when you see people lose their sacred mentality of the family and marriage is more seen as a formality. When a traditional marriage based on Islamic culture and correct knowledge and belief of life gives way to marriages in a modern style on being spawned the streets, on the internet and elsewhere. Then, the normality of such an affair and celebrating the divorce in a modern way would not be far-fetched and surprising!
Finally, it can be said that being alienated from the teachings of Islam and weakness and surrender to the Western cultural invasion is the most important factor in changing the culture of Islam and the resulting increase in the divorce rate.
The three main steps that can be effective in the long run against the comprehensive line of large-scale and long-term planning done by our enemy in changing our religious identity are as follows:
1. Awareness of the goals and strategies of West;
2. Return to the core of religion;
3. Theorizing in various fields using religious texts and sources.
Unfortunately, the soaring divorce rate in our country points to the bitter story and the fact that not only we are unaware of the objectives and strategies of the West, but also we have blindly surrendered to their demands and have moved according to their objectives and plans.
Unfortunately, as Muslims, we have not done any considerable work in response to many years of effort and perseverance from the West in the destruction of the Islamic culture and the weakening of the real role of women.
Perhaps, the main reason for their problems can be considered the naiveté of some people towards the policies of the West while we have plenty of directives and guidelines from Islam which help us to have a successful life. But, instead of theorizing and providing a model for other countries, we emulate them blindly and accept whatever the West offers us in the name of freedom and human rights and modernity and we call it a necessity.
Due to the fact that each of us is responsible for the protection of culture and religion, in this condition, the elites may also extract useful theories by examining the Islamic texts in this field and take an important step forward for women and families. The media can also play a key role and provide a successful model to illustrate the true identity of the Muslim women and offer a model of successful life. The problem is that, unfortunately, we see little of such efforts in films and TV series and, in most cases, the actual status of women in movies is ignored.
The government can also lend legal and social support to house-wives and entice women to search for their true identity within their homes. Also, strengthening the spirit of spirituality through the educational system, the media and transferring them to the unit of family can be effective in reducing social problems such as the effects of divorce.