Because of the great variety of merits of marriage, many texts confirm persistently on it by way of awakening the desires and warning against its negligence. Marriage is the only means by which righteous progeny is gained.
1. Benefits of Marriage
Marriage achieves chastity and immunity against corruption. From this cause, the punishment of the marrieds who commit fornication is stoning to death, because they are immunized by marriage and they despise the holiness of the honors and dignities.
2. Results of Marriage
Marriage secures easeful subsistence, tranquillity, and freedom from worry. Naturally, man alone spends his day encountering the crises of life and striving for seeking earnings. He can find relief nowhere except in the shadows of his darling, sincere wife who, trying to ease his troubles, encompasses him with kind treatment and affectionate conduct. Referring to this fact, God says:
“His creating spouses for you out of yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and His creating love and mercy among you re evidences (of the truth) for the people who (carefully) think (30:21).”
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “Subsequent to the embracement of Islam, the best thing that a Muslim can profit is a Muslim wife who pleases him when he looks at her and has loyalty to him in honor and property.”
Marital happiness is achieved when it is known how to choose the suitable partner. There are certain standards in the light of which spouses must be chosen. Such standards strengthen the marital ties and make peace of mind cover all the corners of the spouses’ lives. Bad choice, on the other hand, exposes marriage to failure and disappointment.
Treating this important aspect that plays a great role in people’s life, the Ahl-ul-Bayt (A.S) referred to the advantages and disadvantages of both men and women so that each will know how to choose a spouse.
The Ideal Husband
The ideal husband is the qualified man who achieves happiness to his wife and ensures tranquil marital life. Unlike the false idea of most of people, the qualifications of a spouse have nothing to do with material vanities, such as handsome house, comely means of transportation, or big fortune. The true qualifications are high certificate, respectful office, high morality, and the like matters. Material vanities may be found with many spouses; still, they are unable to achieve marital happiness or achieve their wives’ pleasure and expectations.
Listen to the following words uttered by the wife of Muawiya ””the Umayyad caliph”” who could no longer stand the life of luxury, lavish expenditure, and wealth in the laps of her husband, and longed for her love’s young dream, though he cannot secure luxury, lavish expenditure, and wealth:
A house in which souls are roaming is favorable, in my sight, to a handsome palace. To have a single cloak with delight is favorable, in my sight, to wearing diaphanous clothes. A clumsy, but highborn, cousin of mine is favorable, in my sight, to a stern unbeliever.
Hence, the true qualification is the mixture of three things: true embracement of the religion, well mannerism, and capacity to maintain and guard the wife materially and morally. Having these three qualities, a man becomes, in the sight of Islam, an ideal competent husband.
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “If a man whose morals and religiosity are accepted in your sight proposes to your daughter, you must agree; otherwise, there will come into being widespread idolatry and great evil.”
Imam Sadiq (A.S) said: “The well-qualified husband is the chaste who can save good living.”
Thus, it is discommended, as an Islamic ruling, to give one’s daughter in marriage to the sinful, alcoholic, effeminate, ill-tempered, and the like individuals whose religiosity and morality are not guaranteed.
The Ideal Wife
The ideal wife is the faithful, chaste, highborn, well-mannered, good-looking woman who is well-behaved with her husband.
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The best of your ladies are the amiable, the chaste, the proud with her family, the humble with her husband, who adorns herself for her husband, behaves decently with others, listens and carries out her husbands’ instructions, provides herself for him when they are alone, and avoids violating good manners, like men.
The worst of your ladies are the humble with her family and proud against her husband, the spiteful, who does not care if she does something hideous, adorns herself when her husband is absent, behaves chastely with him when he is present, does not listen and does not carry out his instructions, does not accept his apologies, and does not forgive his flaws.”
“The best women of my umma are the most bright-faced and the askers for the less dowry.”
“He who chooses a wife for her beauty only will not have his aim achieved. As for him who chooses a wife for her wealth only, Allah will leave him with that wealth. Hence, you should choose the religious women for marriage.”
“Beware of the green-looking women… It is the beautiful women of evil source.”
This prophetic tradition warns against marrying the beautiful women whose families are disreputable.