In the Muslim religion, women are advised to follow rules that at times may appear to clash with western standards of fairness and equality. However, if one looks into the rules and thinks with an uncritical eye, one will come to notice that everything Muslim women are told to do ultimately benefits women.
In the Quran, it states ''For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward. (33:35)''
In the Quran, it states: ''Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.''(4:34)
In the Quran, it states: ''Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers'' (2:223)
''The world and all things in it are valuable; but the most valuable thing in the world is a virtuous woman.'' -Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him.)''
If you are a Muslim female who feels that she has been lacking in her religious duties, it is not too late to turn that around, regardless of your age or what you have done.
1. Understand that all shall be well with Allah's will. Allah forgives minor sins for He is All-Understanding and All-Forgiving. Even if you feel that you are already too deep to become the good Muslim that you truly can be.
2. Discover where the influences causing you to turn your back on your religion come from. Maybe you can trace back the cause to either family situations or friends that are leading you on the wrong path. Leave the friends. They will not be there on the Day of Judgement when you have to face Allah on your own. If it is because of family, it is a little more difficult. This is where the next steps will come in handy.
3. If you are truly devoted to turning over a new leaf and becoming the best Muslim girl that you can be, you must wear the hijab. The hijab is not just a piece of cloth that covers hair; it changes you mentally and spiritually. Think of it as a way for Allah to protect the women. As soon as you wear the hijab, hopefully, your whole perspective on self-respect and values will automatically change. Non-hijabis are defying Allah's laws and risking His punishment, so you have a better chance of achieving this feeling by wearing the hijab.
4. Pray five times a day. Before you get on the prayer rug, learn what the prayer words mean to enhance your contemplation within prayer. If you do not speak Arabic, try to find some translated versions of the prayer words and take some time to read and understand what the words mean. Start making prayer a normal part of your day, the way eating is a need of ours, our spiritual food is prayers.
5. Read the Quran. Read the Quran and also try to read the translation of the Quran and truly try to understand its meaning. You can read the translation in English as well. Reading the Quran will help establish a useful relationship with Allah and will also allow you to understand how beautiful the religion is. Listening to it (you can find videos online) also makes you feel closer to Allah.
6. Learn more about Islam. Know what you have to do (which is called 'wajib' things) and what you can't do (haram things). The Internet is a valuable source to search for Islamic rules and regulations and the punishments that apply if they are broken. Make sure to go on correct websites for the correct source of Islamic information. The punishments may sometimes seem severe, but they are there to protect society and guide the believers to follow the way of Allah (pbuh).
7. Try to allocate a minimum amount of time each day to Islamic activities - for example, four hours for salah, Quran and Islamic studies will enable you to build up your relationship with Allah (pbuh) and make good progress towards acquiring knowledge. Remember that the five daily fard salah are your top priority and you should form the framework of your daily routine around these.
8. Dress modestly. This does not mean that you have to look ugly or not stylish. Just be modest. Wear longer shirts and do not wear clothes such as tank tops and shorts. Stay away from clothes that are too tight. Remember that it is obligatory to cover the whole body except the face and hands, which are recommended but not obligatory. This also helps you to change your whole outlook on what is acceptable and what is not.
9. Hang out with good friends; going with the theme you may want to make friends who share your mission of being a good Muslim. If you are lucky enough, you might spot a Muslim girl your age. Be sure to make friends with a Muslim girl if you find one. You can tell her how you are trying to be a better Muslim, and she might be able to help!
10. Avoid negative influences, including old friends (as hard as it may be, the reward is well worth it) who may have had a bad influence or who bring out the negative characteristics in you. Even though the Satan (the devil) can tempt us, it is our responsibility as Muslims to fight these temptations and urges by increasing our faith and spirituality.
11. Forgive yourself and ask Allah (pbuh) for forgiveness for any sins you may have committed. You need to let go of past mistakes and work on improving the future. Whatever has happened is done. It is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it or better it. The only thing you can do is forgive yourself and sincerely repent to Allah (pbuh) and sincerely ask Him for forgiveness. Use those negative experiences as motivation to get better and do well.
12. Notice where your weaknesses are and avoid them. This is not to say that you should run every time a guy comes near, but learn to lower the gaze and remember that Allah (pbuh) is severe in punishment. They are not people that you need in your life anyway.
13. Take it day by day. If you make it a priority in your mind that you want to strive to be the best Muslim girl possible, you will achieve this goal without even realizing it! Every time you are about to do something, think: ''Is this something good or religious?'' If it isn't, don't do it! Simply remind yourself and be ready to stop yourself, just in case. Every single moment of every day must be devoted to pleasing Allah (pbuh).
• Every time you feel weak and do not have someone to talk to, remember that Allah (pbuh) is always there for you and HE is all you need to accomplish this mission.
• Keep in mind that to receive forgiveness from God there are four requirements:
o Recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God.
o Making a commitment not to repeat the offense.
o Asking for forgiveness from God.
• Strive to achieve all four. Good luck and may Allah (pbuh) be with you!
• Seek knowledge. Trust me you will love this. Every time you learn a new thing about Islam you will be proud to be Muslim.
• Make lots of dua (supplication).
• At first, such a change may prove to be quite different, but it is possible.
• Whatever happens, do not give up.
• Just try and try to be a good Muslim. Keep on thinking about how much improvement you are going to make and think about how happy Allah will be. Just try and never give up. Keep reading Qu'ran, go to hajj and think how happy you will be. Remember to pray your 5 daily obligatory prayers.
Things You'll Need
• Dua, dua, and lots of dua
• Trust in Allah (pbuh)
• Desire for knowledge
• The Seerah of the Prophet (pbuh)
• Fearing the Day of Judgment
• Stories of the 12 Imams, the Sahaba (Companions) and the Prophets